When weight/food consumes your life it is so hard to be happy.

Have you looked into more of a wholistic lifestyle change like paleo, or sugar free, or something where you can enjoy cooking and eating and focussing less on exercise and weight loss?

I find concentrating on nourishing my body for health has transformed my attitude towards my body. When you want to loose weight you are basically rejecting yourself as you are and embracing dissatisfaction. It's impossible to just 'snap' out of that mindset. When you embrace health and nutrition you are embracing love of your body even if it is overweight, because it's about healthy eating, not weightloss.

It's a long journey to heal the pain you have. Go easy on yourself.